Henry's Physical

Today I saw Socialized Medicine in all its glory.  The line at the hospital to be seen by a doctor was enormous.  No joke, probably more than 100 people in one section of one floor of one hospital in a city of 15 million.  Where there is no such thing as a doctor's office.  Where if you want/need a prescription, you go to the hospital... and wait.
Fortunately, the Adoptive Family section of the Travel Hospital wasn't too busy, and our group was in and out in under 2 hours.  And it was a good thing, because the kids were spent.  One by one, they could be seen hitting the wall, and it was everybody's hope that their child would make it back to the hotel without either a meltdown, or without falling asleep (so they'd take a good nap back at the hotel).  I started feeding Henry Cheerios to keep him awake, and he dozed off mid-chew.  So we moved him to my lap so he'd stay awake.  After a lunch of applesauce and noodles, and the stinkiest diaper you've ever smelled, he went down for his nap.
But back to his physical.  It was quite cursory.  They took his picture, made sure that he did, in fact, have ears, a nose and a throat.  They measured and weighed him, temped him, listened to his heart through his crying (not sure how they pick up murmurs that way, or if they'd tell us if they did), and had us sign some forms promising that we'd have him vaccinated 30 days after we return home.  The kids over 2 years of age had to get TB tested, and they didn't like that one bit.
Henry didn't sleep as well last night, looked like he was ready for a nap at 8:30am but didn't sleep, and was generally cranky on the way to the hospital.  So after being upset for multiple stages of his exam, he was worn out, hence the near napping mid-snack.
I'm going on a Pearl River cruise this evening.  Jenn is going to get Henry to bed on time tonight.  Hopefully he'll get caught up and I'll get some good photos.

Catching Up w/ The Great Wall

Not much new since my last post, but I remembered that I'd not posted any of out Great Wall photos and other fun stops in the Beijing area.  So here's some catch-up.

You may recall my saying that we hooked up with a local, English speaking guide and a French couple and ate at a farmer's house and hiked an unrestored portion of the Great Wall with very, very few other tourists around.
When we finished our hike on a restored portion of the wall, there was a gauntlet of vendors selling all sorts of stuff.  Such as...
Now compare the photo above of Jenn on the wall with this photo of a restored portion.
After our big hike on the wall, and our wonderful dinner from Mr. Shui's Dumplings, we changed hotels to hook up with George, our CCAI Beijing guide, and we hit some of the Beijing hot-spots.

Tiananmen Square The Forbidden City

We ate pretty good along the way.
Some local at The Forbidden City had his girlfriend take his photo with Jenn.  I couldn't let the opportunity pass, so I snapped one myself.
One evening we went to an Acrobat Show that was kind of like a circus without animals.  It was pretty cool.
And at the end of a day, we did some laundry in our room because the hotel wanted our firstborn for their laundry service.
That does it for this little detour.  I promise I'll report about our hospital visit in my next post.

Will Perform For Noodles

After a pretty good night of sleep, we woke up, gave a bath, and after the trauma, we went to breakfast. The hotel staff is friendlier, the food is better, and it's just nicer to be here.  And did I mention we like having WiFi in the rooms?
We took a tour this morning that included a Buddhist temple, a beautiful art gallery, and a porcelain store.  The art on display, well, Jenn and I had never seen anything else like it.  Unbelievable embroidery, beautiful finger paintings, stunning wood carvings... it was one of the high-lights of the touring aspect of this trip for me.  After the tour, I then bought diapers from a guy with a hole-in-the-wall shop who only sold diapers, wipes, toilet paper and paper towels.  The guy found a niche, and knowing Westerners stop by on tours following their adoptions, he's taking full advantage.  And we got 62 Pampers and a pack of J&J wipes for about 15 bucks.  Must be the low overhead.
The big development today has been Henry allowing me to do more with him.  For instance, Jenn needed to visit the restroom befor our tour, and she can't take him with her.  So she passed him off to me, he started his little fit, and we took a walk.  There are some major league high-end shops around the lobby of The China Hotel, so we looked at the shiny things for a while, and he calmed down into a very good little boy.  He saw Jenn next when we got on the bus, and I handed him right to her, and he proceeded to fuss and whine for a few seconds.  You can imagine how into the whining Jenn is.

So after the Temple, we were at the art place, and Jenn's arm was about to fall off, and it's hot and seriously humid, and she... needed... a... break.  So I took him for another walk, and he pitched a bigger fit.  We got to a garden area, and I set him down to walk.  He proceeded to sit down and get his hands dirty.  After I cleaned his hands, he was back to being a pleasant boy, and we walked around for about a half-hour, checking stuff out, laughing and giggling.
He's slowly learning that the only source of food in his life is me, and he's growing comfortable with the fact that on some occasions he may need to sit close to me for snacks or meals.  And on three occasions this midday he reached out for me to pick him up.  Sure, he wanted the food on the other end, but this was a major milestone.  Honestly, I'm not sure if there's anything Henry wouldn't do for noodles.
Guangzhou is a very green city.  The color, I mean.  There's no part of China that is Green.  But it is pretty, with climbing plants lining most railings, trees in between many of the buildings, and a good variety of different trees at that.

Getting back to breakfast for a moment, there are several other adoption groups staying at this hotel, and it's interesting observing them.  Our group appears to be the quietest, which is a-okay with me.  There was one that didn't appear to be bonding with either parent.

There were two families that were especially interesting to me.  At one table next to us was a family that had just adopted a boy of about 10 years with Down's Syndrome. God bless them.  It's amazing and incredibly humbling to think that there are folks who are interested and willing to take on such a child in need.

At another table next to us was a boy of about 2 who was missing his right hand.  Jenn stopped to chat with his mother for a minute and learned he was from Shanghai.  His grandmother was sitting with them, but not his dad.  Turns out his dad had to return home for business halfway through the trip, and that the boy was somewhat afraid of his dad.  I felt bad to learn about that and what the dad must have been feeling on his way home by himself.
Tomorrow we visit a Chinese hospital.  I'll let you know my impressions in my next post.

Goodbye, Zhengzhou; Hello, Guangzhou

HYesterday we all left Zhengzhou and there wasn't a disappointed individual in our tour.  We had all grown tired of the city, of the hotel, and it was becoming increasingly clear as the week unfolded that the hotel staff, from top to bottom, was growing tired of us.

So with the paperwork that we'd waited days to get was in our backpack as we boarded a plane with Henry for the first time.  Nothing about the plane ride phased him, and in fact he even sat on my lap for a portion of the ride.  Of course I was offering him animal crackers, but both Jenn and I will take what we can get at this point.
In thinking of Henry's whole attachment process, particularly with me, we've been thinking about it in the context of our Father's love for us, and how we don't always return His love, but how in the midst of that He waits patiently for us.  And we're not the only ones who have seen this play out on this context, as Uncle Mark described the same thing.  There are lessons for all of us in this process, both for Jenn and I as we live within it, for some observers as they recall similar life circumstances, and still for others as they even consider adoption.  It's becoming unmistakable to us that adoption is a concept designed by God to reveal a seemingly small, but very important part of Himself.

Without much of a meaningful nap because of our travels, Henry was tired and grouchy as we rode our bus to the Hotel China.  It's a very nice hotel.  The rooms are smaller than our Zhengzhou hotel, but Jenn and I decided two days ago that we'd rather have a smaller room with WiFi than the other way around.  After a pieced-together dinner for Henry, he went to bed at 7:00 and cried until about 7:02.  As I'm writing this paragraph at 7:20am, he's still sleeping.

We haven't yet formed an opinion of Guangzhou, but it's hard to imagine we won't like it better than Zhengzhou.  On tap this week are: Henry's physical on Monday, our consulate appointment at the end of the week, and a few tours in between.  There will be even more downtime (blah) this week because it is a waiting process at this point. But, that'll give us more bonding time with Henry and more photo opportunities... and along with these, more laughs.

Jenn and I got to Skype with Grandpa Doug, Grandma Paulette, Lincoln and Lydia last night.  Lydia, we've learned, is sleeping nearly 2 hours longer at Grandma's house.  Unbelievable.  And both of them appear to be doing very well in our absence.  Wow, do we miss them.

Passport Delivered

Today was truly downtime in Zhengzhou.  We had been told on a number of occasions by CCAI why this trip would be so long, and we've now experienced why it is that our trip is longer than some other China adoption trips: Henan's beaurocracy is mind-numbingly slow and tedious.  At this point, it is what it is, so we're just rolling with it.  We're missing the kids at home, I'm missing work, and today Jenn reached the point that I reached two days ago:  while I'm not down on the people, I'm ready to be home from Asian culture.  As I pondered this realization of ours, it gave me a real appreciation for missionaries, such as my Aunt Beth and Uncle Mark, who leave their familiar Western culture to live in very unfamiliar cultures for a cause from which they may or may not see fruit on this side of Heaven.

Henry is just the happiest kid.  He loves just motoring around the room or hallway or lobby.  And when he falls down or bumps his head, he doesn't fuss or cry... he just gets back up and keeps moving.
Today was the first day that we put Henry down for naps instead of relying on him to fall asleep on a bus or in the Ergo, and those two times as well as bedtime tonight went shockingly well.  We're phasing out his formula, and Jenn is spending about 5 minutes of wind-down time with him and then simply setting him in his crib.  On all three occasions he fussed a bit, but then settled down, talked to himself, played with his hands and/or feet, and then fell asleep.  And he's been catching up on his traumatic front of the week.

Henry and I are making baby steps of progress.  At times, he'll let me hold him for very short period of time if I'm feeding him animal crackers or goldfish.  He's also steadily opening up with me during playtime.  Jenn and I have been joking that he either refers to me in his mind as "the snack man" or as "the stranger that sleeps in my room."  One of these days...
And he's eating his meals very well.  He's becoming more and more picky about fruit, but eggs, noodles, breads, ec., he's great with.  He's a very messy drinker, but a surprisingly clean eater.  He's not yet using silverware, and it's okay with us to have to feed him because that helps the bonding process.  But whatever he eats, he keeps nearly all of it in his mouth to the point where I don't have to wipe his face much.  This is a very differs experience on the heals of Lydia recently going through this stage.  As Jenn says, he's in for Boot Camp when we get home because it'll be a high chair all the way.  We can't have him making a scene in the restaurants, and they won't let me bring a high chair up to our room (one of my several problems with this hotel), so he'll have anoth week of eating on the bed or on Mommy's lap.

What has really kept us laughing are the faces he makes when he's concentrating on something, his walk (left hand up, right finger up; both making tomahawk motions), and his "I'm so proud of myself smiles."
Tomorrow we leave for Guangzhou by flight, and it will be Henry's first time on a plane.  I anticipate he'll do fine with most things, but I'll be curious to see if he'll sit in his seat or insist on climbing into Jenn's lap.  We're bummed that the White Swan hotel is closed.  That's the adoptive family tradition, and it was located in an area that catered to Westerners.  Our hotel will not be in that area.

We received Henry's passport today, so everything but his visa home is official.  This time next week we'll be in the midst of our journey home.

Hanging out in Zhengzhou

Some blogs are like some people.  You know the type.  Every story they tell about their life, or their home, or whatever is just lollipops and roses.  Nothing ever bad or real ever comes up, just lots of happiness and good times.  I hope that over the years our loyal readers have not found this blog to fit into that category.  You'll recall our early adventures on this blog with Lincoln's nightmare sleeping/napping habits got his first eight weeks of life.  There have also certainly been life circumstances and events that we have not been able to share here for a variety of reasons, but please know that things are not all lollipops and roses here at The Gates Experiment.

Beware:  This post will contain honesty that some may not want to hear or read.  However, we want to be real.  (I also want to have a diary-style monologue for family-history purposes.)  And further, we know that with Henry's arrival, we have become part of the larger adoptive community, and the last thing we want to do is be fake on our blog.  If I'm not real, then others who happen to experience what we've experienced (and indeed are currently experiencing) may feel alone or that their feelings in those circumstances are not valid.

I also want to make it unmistakably clear up front that while what you are about to read describes the more stressful circumstances of the past days, it is impossible for us to express the joy that Henry is to us and the joy that we know he will be for us.  Even though he has not yet really warmed up to me, as you'll read about below, I still get great pleasure from seeing the slightest grin that comes my direction, and the thought of being a father for Henry as I've been and will be for Lincoln and Lydia is very much a job to which I look forward.  Please do not mistakenly interpret this post as one of complaining.  Instead, we ask that you read this post as an accounting of events, emotions and feelings.

Get your own valid XHTML YouTube embed code

Prospective adoptive parents:  Each adoption experience is unique.  Jenn and I have observed several very, very different experiences just in the last few days among the families on this trip.  If you, the reader, are adopting or even considering adoption, please digest this post as one family's experience.  And if our experience adds to your level of preparedness, we'll be very happy.

I've written just recently about the first half of our adoption trip, and at length in the past three days of our GOTCHA! day.  It's hard to imagine a better scenario of attachment than Henry has had with Jenn.  He was cool with me holding him in his first hour with us, and that was great for photos.  Some kids latched on to one parent and didn't want to have anything to do with the other very shortly upon arrival, and those photo opportunities were tougher.  And he's a happy little boy.  He's content to play with two stacking cups for 30 to 45 minutes at a time, and when he grows tired of those, he grabs his tooth brush and a little dish and either drums or imitates a mixing bowl motion for another 30 to 45 minutes.  And he's all smiles throughout.  And he's increasingly walking, which we are very glad to see.

As Monday became Tuesday, and Tuesday became Wednesday morning, Henry has become a Mommy-only child for the most part.  He literally freaks out when Jenn tries to put him in a stroller or a high chair.  So much so, that when a waiter brought a stroller for the table next to us on Wednesday morning at breakfast, the freak out commenced.  It's the type of commotion that's not a result of sadness, pain or grief, but the type of commotion designed to produce a particular response, and when his desired response happens, he returns to being a pleasant, happy child.

I've decided to not try to push things with him.  I don't pick him up, and I barely initiate any touch.  Doing so under most conditions triggers a less than desirable response.  Sometimes it's a funny look, sometimes it's a fuss.  When Henry is playing, and he looks up for affirmation, he ALWAYS looks to Jenn.  He smiles routinely at Jenn, he doesn't smile at me.  If he's playing with a toy, and I move too close to him, he either fusses and looks for Jenn if she's not visible, or he crawls to her if she is visible.

Our strategy shifted this morning to my being the only one to feed him.  I will be the only source of food and drink for him ( w/ one exception... keep reading).  This started to make some progress by Wednesday afternoon, and even more progress was made when I set the toys he really likes to play with on my leg to require him to crawl close to me to get his toys.  He even started touching me during our afternoon playtime.

Henry's exclusive attachment is also draining for Jenn.  She doesn't get a free moment, either for her arm when we're walking, when we're playing, or when we're eating.  (Our shift in feeding strategies has multiple purposes.). When we went to the store in the afternoon, she carried him in the Ergo for part of the time, and on her hip/arm for part of the time.  When we returned, her back was spent.

Dinnertime was a challenge.  For starters, as Henry saw me preparing his food, he crawled as far away from me as he could.  That meant I had to go get him and pick him up.  That went okay.  I fed him a dinner of noodles, applesauce, and PB&J with apple juice.  Well, he only really wanted the noodles at first, but not so much that he absolutely didn't want his applesauce.  So he'd cry whenever he saw the spoon go in the applesauce, but he still wanted the bite of applesauce.  I had on my hands a tired, crying, grunting, hungry little boy.  But we made it through, and by the end of dinner, it appeared he'd forgotten that Jenn wasn't there, and he was starting to enjoy me just a little.

After dinner, we went back to his toys, and he actually began climbing on me.  He was kind of like the type of cat that's okay with his touching you, but not the other way around, but progress was being made.  So we did that until Jenn came back in the room, at which point, he crawled back to her and began playing within her 3-foot radius.

Then he needed a bath.  Henry sweats A TON, apparently it's an Asian boy thing, and he gets gamey pretty quickly, especially because he won't tolerate leaving Jenn's side on a walk (picture eyes closed, back arched, red faced, soaking sort from sweat screaming if she tries to pass him off to me or set him in a stroller).  After Monday's bathtime fiasco, and his lack of attachment to me, we decided for Jenn to take a bath with him.  He fussed/cried (but no freak out) for about ten minutes as Jenn eased him into he process.

And then Henry pooped.  It was a little bit at first.  But when Jenn handed him to me to try to get things cleaned up quickly, he freaked out.  So I handed him back to Jenn so I could go get a wipe for his bum. And in the 5 seconds I was away, he pooped.  A lot.  Down Jenn's swimsuit and leg.  In the moment, we decided to stop caring about the colossal freak out that was to come and shift out thinking to what was going to get this whole literal and figurative mess over with the quickest.  I took him back from her and held him close, and he didn't do too bad.

Jenn then decided it would be best to move into shower mode.  Did I mention that she'd already showered while I was feeding and playing with Henry?  So she washed the poop off of her, she'd stepped in it multiple times during the necessary shuffling around, and I held onto Henry as he was still wet.  Because Jenn has never been comfortable with any of the kids in the shower, preferring to leave that task to me, I got a shower with Henry.  He wasn't as upset about it as I thought he'd be, and in fact was less upset about it than he was during bathtime.  He calmed down very shortly after I passed him off to Jenn to get dried off.

For bedtime, Jenn felt it would be best for me to give him his formula and put him down.  He was very upset that she had put Him down last night, and he tried to crawl out of the crib.  So she thought a different strategy would be a good idea.  We've sice talked about it, and I feel comfortable sharing here that we are in agreement now that this is/was not the best idea, and this is the one time that she will be source of food for him.  How did we come to this conclusion?

After picking him up to begin the process, he immediately began crying.  He drank about about a sixth of his formula, and commenced to cry so forcefully and vigorously that he soaked his shirt with sweat.  I am not exaggerating when I use the word "soaked." I kept trying to give him his formula, but he wanted nothing to do with it.  Perhaps he was full enough from dinner.  Perhaps he was overtired.  Perhaps he only, and adamantly only wanted Jenn at this point.  Jenn emerged from the bathroom to take over, and he wouldn't take the formula from her.  She put him down.  He carried on like a tired toddler that didn't want to give up, and I sat net to his crib and softly shushed him to sleep (as I did last evening, and twice in the middle of the night... and very successfully, I might add!).

Time will tell, but I feel now like all of the progress that was made today will be set back.  I can hear the adoption-veterans now.  "Don't worry.  This is just a process, and he'll learn to love you in time." I know that, and I get it.  In fact, I believe it.  I'm not worried at all about his attachment in the long-run.  He's crying out and begging for attachment, and he's found his first attachment in Jenn.  It doesn't look like ANYTHING will change that, so we know he's capable, and I know with time he'll not only warm up to me, but probably do very well with me when it comes to father/son things. But this post is about how both Jenn and I are feeling and what we're experiencing in the moment, and you've just read an honest, play-by-play post of an on-the-ground.

Do we wish that some or all of these events would have been different?  Certainly.  But isn't that life?  Who among us can honestly say that they wouldn't want to have some of their life circumstances play out differently? But here's the kicker... Would we trade this... would we trade Henry for not having to go through these difficult times?  No.  Way.  We love him with as much strength as the word "love" can carry.  No less than we love Lincoln and Lydia.  And we know that by God's grace we'll look back on these early days with him as formative days in our relationship.

Thursday morning:

Jenn wanted some time to herself, so she got up early and went to breakfast.  I did the morning thing with Henry, and he was pretty good with me having not seen much of Jenn after waking up.

A good friend messaged me on Facebook and described her own similar experience... child more bonded with Daddy, and how she takes advantage of times when Daddy isn't around at the outset of an event to have quality time with her little one.  It's funny... her story is the one "shared story" that wouldn't/doesn't rub me the wrong way because it's not advice from the outside looking in.  Thanks so much to her for reaching out.

And lest this post border on the depressing, as the morning led into the afternoon, things progressed to the status of yesterday's improvement, and by late afternoon we'd established a new high water mark.
Jenn's arm is about to fall off and her back is near-crippled after carrying Henry around the Zhengzhou Zoo for several hours in the morning, but after we returned to the hotel and made it through the lunch ordeal (Henry cries sometimes when he sees me get his bib out of the pack... why?  Your guess is as good as ours), he was crawling over me to get to his toys.  He and I also played in the hallway with a balloon for about a half-hour.  That was fun, and gave Jenn a decent time of needed rest.
We're also finding his ticklish spots.  With the size of his smile, he's especially fun to tickle.  He's becoming more busy, which is also fun to watch.  Taking into account all that he likes to do and is able to do, he is honestly like a 12 month old.  The literature says that orphans are 1 month delayed for every 3 months that they spend in an orphanage, and Henry's situation certainly supports what the experts say.

Today finished up with another tough bathtime because Henry poop-bombed his diaper, shorts, shirt and belt.  But dinner time went well, and he didn't cry too long at bedtime because he was exhausted.  So here it is, not even 9:00pm and we're done for the night.
We're still waiting for our final documents from Zhengzhou because our Zip Code was wrong on the notarized documents we received today.  Hopefully it won't be too much of an ordeal to get that fixed tomorrow.  We're also hopeful that Henry's passport will be finished by Friday afternoon.  That's one of the reasons this trip takes as long as it does... waiting for official documents to be processed.

I anticipate tomorrow being a low key day as we await paperwork and try to catch up on rest. Thanks again for your prayers, and to those that have left comments and sent messages, we appreciate them so much.

Attaching to Jenn

Disclaimer for this post:  I started composing this piece on Tuesday evening, but I couldn't post it until Wednesday, so if you find an occasional change in tenses, or jumbled time frames, there is a reason.  Now on to the next installment of our Asian Saga.

Tuesday was Day 2 of Henry's adventure with us, and it was a long, hard day.  First of all, reality set in first thing in the morning when Henry saw that he woke up in an unfamiliar place.  He laid on his side and accepted Kix for about 20 minutes before he was ready to stand up and get out of the crib.  For the next little while, he behaved much as he did when we first go back to the hotel on Monday: no smiling, very reserved.  He was really only interested in Jenn holding him... more on this shortly.
We got to Skype with Grandma Laura and Grandpa Dave in the morning, then we went to the Agency to finalize our adoption, then to the notary to notarize the adoption finalization, then 2 hours and 45 minutes away to Henry's hometown of Zhoukou to apply for his passport.
Only since March of this year have the parents been required to be present to apply for passports.  Prior to March, the orphanage would get the process rolling two weeks before the adoption.  To say that today's trip was inconvenient and one that amounted to busywork would be mostly true.  It was good for us to see from where he came.  After our time at what amounted to a cross between a police station and a DMV, we drove by Henry's orphanage.  While we were not allowed to go inside, we did get some photos of the location where he was abandoned, and most importantly, we got to meet and take photos with one of his nannies.
Put an asterisk at this point in the story, because I need to give bit of background before I go on.  The LORD has answered our prayers for Henry to attach quickly... to Jenn.  Yesterday he was okay with me holding him in the beginning, but as the day wore on, hindsight tells me that he was becoming more and more attached to Jenn, and I was just a stranger in the room.  This was made very clear today, as he threw a fit whenever he was not primarily connected to Jenn.  (The one exception to this was a brief period in the morning, and there was food involved.)

>

I'm not ging to lie, this has been a tough thing for me.  Intellectually, I knew it would be a possibility, and I saw it happen to some parents within the first five minutes, but no amount of head-knowledge can prepare someone for this from an emotional standpoint.  I know the time will come, but I'm living in the now.  And Henry's clinging has made eating, getting ready for the day, etc., etc., a bit difficult for Jenn.  This isn't anything unusual in adoption processes, but it's happening to us now, so it's a big deal to us.

Back to the nanny.  When Henry saw her, he reached toward her and she took him and hugged him closely.  These kids are not just a job to this nanny, and this made us happy to see.  And then... he reached back for Jenn.  Let that sink in.
The nanny was obviously very emotional, and she hugged Henry one more time, and Jenn and I could tell that he was having a hard time processing what was going on.  After we got back in the car, Henry, who had been very playful prior to the stop, was very, very subdued, kind of like what we saw out of him in the morning.  He rested on Jenn and sucked his fingers for about five minutes, and then he started to open back up again.  We knew he'd struggle with seeing his nanny, but getting that photo will prove one day to be a very important time that Jenn and I did not want to let slip away.

The nanny mentioned to us that Henry was a good eater, and that has been our experience to this point.  There are some fruity textures that he's not crazy about, but most things he shoves into his mouth and worries about how he'll chew it all later.
The long time in the car was challenging.  No car seat, and a boy that only wanted to be held by one.  He fell asleep in Jenn's arms soon after we left, and she passed him off to me, and he slept for 2 hours. That's the good part.  The bad part is that my butt and back in those old Toyota van seats did not respond well.  The trip back was a constant effort in keeping Henry occupied.  We don't want to do that again soon.

Bedtime was more of a struggle this evening, as Henry can just not let Jenn go.  Turns out, after I left to blog last night, Henry got fussy and then gave Jenn trouble going to sleep.  So I'm going to try to put him to bed tomorrow and see how things go.

We found out today that Henry can walk when he's really motivated.  It looks as though he never really needed to walk much, so he hasn't had much practice, and as a result, he doesn't have much muscle tone.  That, combined with the fact that he seems so happy to be held that he rides lazy makes us want to get him home with Lincoln and Lydia and give him some prompting to get up and moving.  Until then, the walking is making slow, steady progress.

Now we're waiting for Henry's passport to go through, and then we're off to Guangzhou on Friday.  That gives us nothing really official to do for the next couple of days.  Hurry up and wait.  I could do without it, but it is what it is.

We Skyped with Grandma Paulette and Lincoln on Tuesday evening, and to be honest, I had a really hard time with that.  I miss the kids at home, and seeing Lincoln made that really hit hard.
On Wednesday we went to a local park with a few of the other families.  Henry slept for the first half of it, as he's been tired in the morning after breakfast. Jenn was free, then to talk with some of the others, both locals, and Westerners. The locals aren't shy about staring at the Westerners with the Asian kids.  The cost and the local food prompted us to get McDonald's for lunch, and we took it back to the park.  Going to the local department store to get some clothes.  Some of the kids, especially one of the boys with a cleft palate, are a different size than we all planned for, and WalMart doesn't have a big selection... and at the end of the day, it's a WalMart in the middle of Zhengzhou.

Please continue to pray.  Pray for Jenn's physical strength as she lugs Henry around, and for both of our emotional and mental strength as we take on the stresses that both come with adoption and that come with being in a foreign culture for a long time.  Pray for Henry, that he'll continue to open up and be comfortable with Jenn and me in all circumstances.

Gotcha!

disclaimer: this is a long post at the end of a long day... mild typos are probably my fault... crazy typos are the fault of the iPad's autocorrect feature, which can be a little nuts, and which I'm slowly getting used to... now on to the show...

Today was the day to which we've been looking forward since last June, when this whole process started, and especially since October, when we knew Henry would be the next in our family. We woke up and had breakfast as usual along with the rest of the families on our tour.  Nobody was really sure if they were ready for what was about to come.  The experienced families were pretty cool about it.  The first-time adopters, you could just tell that they... that we knew something big, something irreversible, something cool was about to happen.

I should take a moment here and say that our group is a bit interesting because there are no "new parents" here, and most of the adopted children were boys.  The majority of the group left 2 or 3 kids at home.  Most of the adopted children are about 2 years old.  Henry's the youngest at 18 months, and a family that went to another province are adopting an 8 year od girl.  I've been slowly learning everyone's names, but truth be told, I'm best at knowing who's who by identifying their state.  As in, "Kentucky's little girl is really cute."

Back to today's events.  We took a bus down ZhengZhou's main street (traffic is horrible) to the Office of the Registry, or something like that.  Inside a big room just inside a side door we waited as cars came from the various orphanages carrying the little ones.  The first little girl to arrive was crying a lot as her care-taker handed her to her new mom.  This family had adopted before from China, and their 10 year old daughter was with them.  All of the parents had a hard time watching and listening, knowing it was soon to happen to all of our families, to one degree or another. Some kids had harder times than others.  One boy handled his grieving by going into shut-down mode.  Another was a big-time screamer.

When Henry arrived, he was handed to Jenn, and he cried a good bit, but not for too long.  Turns out he's a snuggler.  He sucked on his first two left fingers, rested his head on Jenn's shoulder, and took it all in.  He was very good about my holding him shortly after his arrival.  You never know from one child to the other.  For instance, there is one little girl who is only calm when her dad is holding her... she's not yet ready for her mom to be holding her, and that's tough for both the mom and the rest of us watching on the outside.

Most of the kids were soon calmed with food of one variety or another, but the big hit was DumDums suckers.  Parents on their way to China: pack some suckers!  And parents on their way to China: familiarize yourself with the cameras belonging to the other families.  You'll be taking their photos as their child arrives, and the favor will be returned.

After signing some paperwork, we left the Agency soon after the last child arrived.  Traffic was nuts, it was hot, and there are no such things as car seats in China.  Henry rubbed his eyes, and fell asleep for about five minutes on the bus, but then we pulled into the hotel driveway.  He played with a couple of things on the bed for about a half-hour, and then it was time for lunch.

Henry showed that he's capable of fitting in with the Donati family and carrying Grandpap's name, as he put away pizza and gnocchi at the Italian restaurant in the hotel.  He's probably never eaten so much in one sitting.  It was at lunch where he started to open up with us.  We've seen videos and photos of adopted kids that are stone faced initially and then after a while, a few or many hours, they start smiling and interacting in a very positive way.  He started smiling here and there, and then when we got back to the room, and he wasn't showing any sign of being tired, we played with a few toys (specifically a Tupperware-style container, a syringe and a toothbrush) and he started pulling out the biggest smiles.  I even found a few ticklish spots, and he's funny when he laughs.

Jenn and I are amazed at how well he uses his right hand.  Clearly nobody has told him yet that he has a disability.  He uses the finger on his right hand to feel, push, point, and he's a pro at using his wrist to hold and steady his toys while his left hand does with the toys what he wants to do.

We were told that he can walk, but that's not the case.  We were also told that he naps from 1:00 to 2:30, but with the day as it was, Henry didn't start to show signs of being tired until about 2:45.  One of had to be somewhere to fill out more paperwork at three, so Jenn went to do that, and I stayed with Henry and the Ergo to try to get him to nap, as he didn't want anything to do with the crib.  He let out what proved to be his tired burst of crying, and fell asleep within five minutes, and he napped for almost 2 hours, even getting passed to Jenn midway so I could take care of my paperwork.

We went to Walmart... you read that correctly... at 5:00pm to get a few things that we needed, and it must have been like Vegas lights for Henry.  Again, he handled things very well.  Dinner tonight consisted of oatmeal, fruit, some Puffs, and his formula.  He's not skinny, but he's not chubby... And his tummy is huge.  One thing he didn't do well was his bath.  He's a little hotbox, and after arriving in one of the outfits we sent him of fleece pants and a long sleeved shirt (it was in the 80's today), he was a sweaty and gamey mess.  We were told he likes baths, so hopefully with familiarity he'll warm up to it.

Jenn has been awesome with Henry, and he's definitely taking a liking to his new mommy.  So I gave him his final formula at what is supposed to be bedtime, he took it well, and then started crying and reaching for Jenn.  I sang him a song, and layed him down mid-cry.  As soon as his back hit the bottom of the crib, he stopped crying, he started sucking his fingers, and he remained quiet as I gathered my things to start writing this.  He's probably used to there being some quiet activity in the room before he falls asleep, but this development completely surprised me.  All in all, we couldn't be more pleased with the day.  Henry was an absolute All-Star.

Tomorrow is going to be a tough day.  More paperwork.  We go back to the Agency building from 9 'til Noon, then we'll drive to his city... three hours there, 30 minutes of paperwork, then three hours back.  If things are going well, we might be able to see his orphanage, but it's looking like that actually won't be the best thing, so we'll see.

We were told that Henry wakes up at 1:00am for a drink.  Yikes.  Not sure why an 18 month old needs to do this... probably because he's not been fed enough to date.  Our plan is to fill him up during the day and hopefully get him to sleep all night.  The potential consequence to this is either diarrhea or constipation, but with some consistency, hopefully we'll have him sleeping through the night and have him regular.  Time will tell.

Now playing some catch-up:

Last night we went to dinner with some new friends, and we strolled into a restaurant with no English-speakers and no photos on the menu.  It was clear that the waitresses, who all reminded us very much of Haley by their mannerisms and their ability to operate a cell phone, were jockeying to not have to wait on us as they knew by looking that we couldn't communicate much with them.  Jenn knew ennough Mandarin to order some not-too-scary things, and we ended up with a spicy pork dish, an even spicier chicken dish... and I was successfully able to order some Coca-Colas for the four of us.  I know... you're impressed.  For the four of us, dinner amounted to $17, and even though wait staff are not tipped in China, I tipped our waitress 20RMB for putting up with us.  We want to go back not only because the food was pretty good, but also to see the look on the waitress' face when we walk in.  Even though it was a small tip by American standards, they'll probably push each other out of the way to wait on the tipping Westerners.

The hotel we're staying in now, the Crowne Plaza, has WiFi, just not in the rooms like our previous hotels have had.  This means I have to go to the lobby to get online.  A minor inconvenience.  Also, parents on their way to China: download and register for a VPN if you want to get on Facebook (web or App), use Blogger, Wordpress or Twitter.  You can find these in the App Store or by a Google search, and most of them have free trials for you to use.  Even if you get into a situation where you need to pay for VPN service, the cost is very reasonable (<$30).

To close this post, I want to thank all of you who have been praying for us. We appreciate your prayers, and it was evident that God's hand was on Henry today. There have been stressful times so far, and there will be more as the days unfold, so we ask you to not stop praying for us.

Friday Morning in Beijing

We've been able to Skype with the kids.  Jenn and I were concerned that Lydia, especially, would have trouble seeing and hearing us away from home, but when we saw that she was more interested in playing with the computer keys we knew she was doing just fine with things.  It was so nice to see Lincoln and Lydia and to know things were fine at home.

We're now staying at the Juanguo Hotel in more of the center of Beijing.  It's not the T Hotel in Hong Kong, but it's nice overall.  Except for the shower, which wasn't draining when we got here.  Hopefully they'll be able to get that fixed while we're out today.  And there's a sign by the faucet that says the water is not for drinking.  This doesn't surprise us, as we were told about the water situation, but it's just a different thing to see.

Jenn isn't sleeping too long at night.  The time change coming here didn't bother me too much, and while Jenn hasn't been sick or very tired with jet lag, she's been waking up between 3:00 and 4:00am and not being able to fall back asleep.

On the agenda today is Tianamen Square and The Forbidden City with some of the other families on our tour.

Great Wall

First of all, I'm now officially behind the firewall, and loading photos is a big ordeal. I'll start by at least writing so you know where we are and what we're doing, and if an opportunity comes along to add photos, I'll do it.

After a very unique and good breakfast at The Orchid, we joined up with Nico and Elena from France and went with Jack to the Great Wall.  After hearing about the touristy nature of some of the restored locations, we were happy to find Jack as he led us to a portion of the wall that is in its natural state, and during our time at that section, we passed five tourists and two guides.

It started with a 2-hour ride out of Beijing.  We then stopped at a "restaurant" of local farmers and enjoyed the most authentic Chinese food we've ever tasted.  There was an eggplant, pepper and potato dish; a pork rib and dough dish; a chicken, carrot and pepper dish; rice; a tofu dish; and some kind of doughy pie.  It was all delicious, and it made Jenn's stomach very happy.

The hike was an 800m climb up rocky cutbacks to a watchtower.  Once at the wall, we walked/hiked along the top.  Some areas have just a slight grade while others are very, very steep.  Some areas have held up under hundreds of years of weathering while other areas are nearly in ruins.  And some areas have lots of plant life growing on them.  The Great Wall is much like the Grand Canyon in that pictures simply do not do it justice.  To see it in person and take in the sheer size and magnitude is sooooo much better than reviewing photos.

When we got to the restored section, the volume of people increased, as did the souvenir hawkers, who were so bad, they'd make the Sint Maarten beach venders blush.

We got a very good look at multiple areas of Beijing going into and out of the city.  Not only was this a good tourist experience for the two of us, but a good cultural one, as well.  We need as much of this as we can get for Henry's sake.

So now we're in our second Beijing hotel.  It's pretty nice.  Tomorrow morning we'll meet our guide, George, and most of the other adoptive families on our consulate date.

From Hong Kong to Beijing

This was another travel day, and since our flight wasn't until 4:00, we shuffled around Hong Kong for a bit. It's nice that many of the buildings, especially in the shopping district are connected, many of which by air conditioned walk-ways. When we ventured away from the air conditioning, we found places like this.

One of the places we checked out was C!ty Super, the grocery store in the high-end mall. This here is a pig's leg.

Other than some of the usual Asian fare, it was really crazy to see a grocery store in the mall just a short walk from Armani.

It was neat that we were able to check in for our flight at the train station and leave our bags there so we wouldn't have to hall them around with us. The station was really cool-looking.

DragonAir was a nice flight, and Jenn and I were looking forward to it as it was our first non-US flight. The food was good, and aside from the flight being delayed by an hour and a half, it was a pleasant ride.

The trip to our hotel in Beijing was a little sketchy. Our cabbie didn't speak a word of English, and we didn't expect him, or anyone else we ran into along the way to know what we were saying. He dropped us off at the end of the road where our hotel is, and we got out with our luggage and began walking down a dimly lit street lined with bars, hole-the-wall restaurants, and what can probably best be described as workshops. There was one "landmark" on the map, Mr. Shi's Dumplings, that we found, but we couldn't see The Orchid from where we were standing. We kept walking and not seeing it, we showed our paper to some old people sitting on the side of the street and they pointed us in what proved to be the wrong direction, we kept walking (towing or luggage, mind you) until the street ceased to be lit... and then a man rode up behind us on a bicycle and began speaking Mandarin to us and pointing in the opposite direction. We'd heard that there is virtually no crime or muggings in Beijing, but when you don't know the language and can't find where you're going in the dark, your mind starts wandering. I looked like an idiot staring back at him, and because I didn't have anything better to do, we followed him back to Mr. Shi's. The nice waitress there pointed us to an alley off the alley and we saw The Orchid.

So we're here now, the place is nice, the guy who owns the place runs his network through Japan so he can get unblocked internet access, we just Skyped with Grandma Laura and the kids, and we're winding down to bed time. If we never have another Beijing Alley experience again, I'll be okay with it.