A Beautiful Fall Day

Wednesday was one of those really nice fall days, so while Jenn ran a few errands, I played and worked with the kids outside. We love the play set... not just the kids... we all love the play set. After we played on the set for a while, the kids seemed content to meander around the yard for a bit, so I decided to cut down our big mass of decorative grasses underneath our kitchen window. I had an idea that Lincoln would want to help me with it, but it was surprising to see that Lydia also wanted to help. And she was actually a help. She drug fist fulls of grass away from where I was working to a pile closer to the gate. After getting bored, she went to the sandbox. Henry wasn't much help, but he enjoyed watching from the deck.
Lincoln is still enjoying preschool. Today he made butter by "shaking up milk."
Henry is actually starting to put some sounds together. Talking is still a long way off, but he's shown strides in the past week or so that have been very encouraging.The plan for the weekend is to head off to a pumpkin patch with Auntie Em & Ella and Grandma Paulette. Hopefully the weather will cooperate.

"More clam bake, please!"

We've definitely got some more photos to share. Last night we went to Chris & Val's clam bake, and the kids were all stars. We'd been talking about the party during the week leading up to it, and the kids were pumped. Lincoln was talking about how he was going to eat his and my clams, and Lydia, on the way there, kept shouting out, "Clam bake!" Between lots of good food, a hay ride and a couple of good-sized fires, the kids had a blast. Jenn and I were foiled in our plan, though, for the kids to sleep on the way home. Henry got to the slap-happy stage, and Lydia and Lincoln were happy to play along. As we approached I-90, Lydia shouted out, "More clam bake, please!"I should also identify Grace, the nice girl holding Henry in the photo above. We see her and her parents once annually at the clam bake, and she and her family remember us and couldn't be nicer to the kids. I'd adopt Grace as our permanent baby sitter if her parents made her available.The two young ones cried a bit when we left them in kids class at church today, but each of them settled down within minutes, and each of them were playing nicely and comfortably when we returned to get them.Lydia has been saying some funny things lately. Once, while Jenn and I were having a conversation in the kitchen, Lydia said, "Scuse me, Dad. Want talk 'bout stuff." Then today, when I was changing her diaper, she identified Cookie Monstor on her diaper, so I proceeded to sing the "'C' is for Cookie" song that I've been singing lately with the kids when we see Cookie Monstor. Uh-Uh. "Daddy, please don't sing that song." Well...

And on the Henry-talking front, he's started to say "step stool," but it sounds remarkably like how he says, "my turn." Little by little...Gretel has been fixated on what has been taking place beneath our deck. For a while we weren't sure what exactly that was, but when I found a dead bunny on our patio with an abdominal puncture wound and a saliva-soaked coat, I felt like I could put my finger on her point of interest for the first time.I'd like to conclude with our bull in our China shop...

Another Birthday Party, and Shaking the Sick Bug

Last Saturday we went to the birthday party of a son of friends from church. It was a low-key gathering and a fun time for the parents to chat and the kids to eat sugary things.On the kid front, there have been some funny things happen lately that I just need to write down here so I don't forget.

Several days ago, during a period of insanity when Jenn was considering whether or not we'll adopt again any time soon, she said to Lincoln, "What would you think if we went back to China in a couple of years and adopted a little girl?"

Lincoln thought for a moment, then said, "No. We'd need to get a bigger wagon."

On Tuesday evening we were out in the driveway while Henry was meanering around, Lincoln was riding his tricycle some and generally keeping busy and Lydia was sitting on her tricycle. All of a sudden, her tricycle got rolling and was heading toward the muddy mess that sits beside our driveway. Henry was in my arms at this point and I was too far away to stop her, but Lincoln was on that side of the driveway, and without thinking, he ran in front of her tricycle and grabbed the handle bars and stopped it from jumping over the little curb, which no doubt would have spilled Lydia into the mud and prompted a dramatic display of crying. Jenn and I couldn't believe it. A decisive, unselfish, gut reaction from our Lincoln. We're proud of him. And in the same cyber-breath, I'll share this photo...Today was "Share And Tell" at preschool, and you may or may not be surprised to know that Lincoln took his inflatable globe, and told the class some facts about the countries which have been featured in his Highlights mystery packs: Japan, Brazil and India. He pointed them out on the globe, and then shared a fact about each of these: he told the boys and girls that Japan is a country made up of many islands, Brazil is the largest country in South America, and India has Asian elephants that help people work with heavy objects. I asked him over lunch what some of the other kids shared, and he said, "One boy brought Spongebob!" And ours gave a geography lesson. Yes. We're very proud of Lincoln.

Henry's trying to talk, and he's getting a few new sounds out. Lydia is speaking in paragraphs and sharing conversations with us that she's retained from who knows when. She's hilarious to watch. She's got her alphabet down, and she's starting to fill in the blanks on some of our sing-along songs. Lately, we've been happy that Henry is reliably shaking his head "yes" and "no." He's started saying, "Yah!" to our questions... the problem is that he'll say, "Yah!" to, "Henry, do you want to get dressed now?" and, "Henry, you look tired, are you ready for bed?" and, "Henry, is the sky green?" It's kind of funny, and we'll take any verbal communication out of him. Just knowing that he's understanding that verbal interaction is a good thing and something that we expect of him is nice to see.

The runny nose bug has run through our house again, and I think it may finally be gone. Lincoln, as usual, is the one to bring it home. He's usually bothered by less than 24 hours. Lydia then gets it next and is an absolute train wreck. Jenn and I can usually count on no meaningful sleep during her first night of sickness. I was curious to see how Henry would respond, and he, too, had a tough time at night. At the front end of this week Jenn was thoroughly exhausted. I fared a bit better. Last night, with the exception of Henry getting fussy for a few minutes at 11:00pm, the kids slept all night, which was a first in the last 10 days.

We're looking foward to continuing our family tradition of fall time apple picking this Saturday. Then in the afternoon Jenn's parents and grandparents are arriving in town for us to go over to see Haley play at Bowling Green on Sunday. This will be a first for all of us to see our D-1 athlete daughter/sister/grand-daughter play at the collegiate level. Bowling Green is having a rough start to their season, but they weren't very good last year, and looking at the team stats, the freshmen are getting some playing time. Looks like a good year to rebuild, get some experience, and work toward some good stuff in seasons to come. In any event, it'll be nice to see Haley and spend some time as a Parkinson-side-of-the-family out there. Lydia and Henry will not be making the trip, but instead will be hanging out with Grandma Paulette and Grandpa Doug.

Jenn is doing a really good job planning a party to catch Lydia's and Henry's birthdays and to incoporate a costume party for our friends/family. The decor and favors are in the works. The kids all have costumes ready to go, and today Jenn and I ordered ours. Photos definitely to come after this fun event.

I haven't had much to say about the dogs lately. They've been really good with the kids, and relatively little trouble. I guess the dogs are like a good offensive line in football... if you're not hearing about them, they're probably doing their job.

Tonight Jenn's at Ladies Night with our ABF at church. She's taken on the role of planning the evenings, choosing the speakers and directing the content. Could you imagine anyone better for that job?

Birthday With The Fam

Today we celebrated my birthday with my parents and Grandma Gates. The kids were in rare form earlier today coming off of a couple days of runny noses and less than ideal sleep. So a trip to Grandma & Grandpa's house was a welcome thing because everything always get's better at Grandma & Grandpa's house!

Here's a sampling of today's fun, concluding with a shot of the Goodyear blimp off in the distance. It was apparently coming back from the Cleveland area. Usually it passes directly over our house, but today it didn't. It was okay, though, because the kids got to see it as we drove alongside it on the way home after the festivities.
I've got to say, I love going over to my parent's house for family time. They're great with the grandkids, the food is always good, things are slow-paced which makes things as relaxing as it can possibly be with three crazy kids, and they're just so generous with their time and things. All of this makes Jenn and I look forward to our vacation time (along with the Hopwoods!) next summer.

First Day Of Preschool

Earlier this week, one little boy we know started preschool! Wow. Jeff Foxworthy had a routine where he talked about waking up one morning and thinking about a mortgage, a minivan and a couple of kids and thinking, "How'd this happen?" Aside from the minivan, we are those people!Today was a Saturday as a family, and we had a fun morning of a slow breakfast and some time at the mall, then an afternoon at a birthday party and a meet-your-neighbors party across the street. The kids did great and we all had a fun time together.The other day, Lincoln said, "You should have given me a wolf towel so when I wear it I could say, 'Towwwwwwwwwwwwwwl!'" The kid's pretty sharp.

Labor Day Weekend... We're Comin' Along

It's been a fun last couple of days at the Gates Home.The latest play-fad is going "grocery shopping" in the pantry. The kids get all of the food off of the shelves (they can reach) and bring them out into the middle of the kitchen floor. Lincoln then brings out the blender and they "make a smoothie" by putting as many ingredients into the blender and "pouring" the rest of the ingredients through the opening in the lid.Henry was an absolute all-star at church yesterday. Jenn and I knew that we'd have to start leaving him in the kids class with Lydia when our ABF kicks off again, so we decided that September 2 would be our trial run. Henry walked in the door (having seen the toys first) and followed Lydia to the middle of the room. He looked back once, but the teachers were really calm and patient with him, so he was really cool about it. Jenn and I had our first whole church experience without crying interruptions or chasing kids around the atrium since early May. When I went to get Henry and Lydia, I received the report that Henry hadn't cried at all and played very well with the other kids.

Now here's the thing about that... This past Wednesday I took Henry and Lincoln for haircuts, and it was Henry's second since coming home. After being a really good, calm boy the first time around, he was an absolute train-wreck the second time. Something about actually knowing what to anticipate. So the real test will be next Sunday, but we've got a whole 'nother week to pray about that!Lincoln and I made some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies yesterday and put them in the oven today. Lydia even helped a little bit, but when over half of the chocolate chips that she was supposed to put in the mixer ended up on the floor, her time of helpfulness was over. Honestly, Lincoln was really good about this. The dough had gotten pretty firm in the refrigerator overnight, but he scooped over 40 cookies by himself, steadying the bowl and filling the scoop each time all by himself.I've alluded to the fact that the last couple of months have had their difficulties. (New to the blog and interested in filtering out all of the other stuff so you can just see our adoption journey? click here.) Henry has adjusted well, but when it has come to dealing with his emerging toddler issues, the stuggles of attatching to him, his lack of communication ability, the pairing of toddler issues that come along with Lydia, and the overall ordeal of having 3 young kids in the house, we've had some tough, even dark times. But things are looking up, and there are a number of reasons for this. First of all, at no time along the way has our relationship with the LORD or with each other been comprimised.

Secondly, our times with Dr. DeGeorge at Oak Adoptive Health have been helpful for re-enforcing some positives and making clear that there are neurochemical reasons for our stresses.

Thirdly, Jenn and I have intentionally taken some time to see how far things really have come over the last three months. The before-and-after photos are very helpful.

Fourthly, when we learn of some of the struggles that other adoptive families have had, we see that in many areas, we don't have those degrees of struggles. To be clear, even if someone has greater issues than we have, that doesn't mean that ours are not difficult or that they aren't significant within our home. But we are soooooo thankful that Henry sleeps through the night, that he naps reliably, that he doesn't have anger issues and that he doesn't have possession issues. And he's slowly making progress on the communication front. Seeing that there has been progress on this front is encouraging.

Also helpful are the times we revisit CCAI's website to look at the current group of Waiting Children. The need is so great, both in terms of numbers of kids and in individual terms. Looking at the stories of these boys and girls is sobering... and to think that at one point in time there was a page just like these for Henry, with a description of what little history he had as well as his physical limitations. When I read some of the stories of the boys and girls I think to myself, "Who is going to adopt these kids?" And my next thought is, how many people looked at Henry's page and said to themselves, "Who's going to adopt this little boy?" Well, we did, and he's growing up into a neat little boy! And that's just it, these kids need loving families, and they can thrive and overcome what life has dealt them if they are simply provided a loving family.

Are things now going to be all lollipops and roses going forward? Ha! Fat chance. The main reason I share the above is for prospective adoptive families to get a small glimpse into the world of a current adoptive family that wasn't all smooth sailing from the start. If you're thinking about adoption and you'd like to learn more details than I've even shared here, don't hesitate to contact us. You deserve to have as much information prior to your big day as possible.

And as Jenn and I were reflecting on these things today during lunch (after we told the kids to go entertain themselves!), we actually talked about adopting another. We're crazy. We know.

But in all seriousness, despite the difficulties, the feelings of guilt that have emerged from time to time along the way, and all of the chaos, we still believe we are acting within God's plan for our family, so who knows what will come.

Now moving on from Adoption stuff and back to Gates Family stuff. We were outside the other day, I was power washing the house and Jenn and the kids were washing the car, and Lydia decided to clean her guns. Our first thought was, "Grandpa Doug and Uncle Jeremy would be proud!"Bath time has been a hoot lately when, after getting all of the kids out of the tub and semi-dried off in their animal towels, they all run off toghether the room-of-their-choice-at-the-moment.This past Saturday was the 9th installment of the Lauren & Logan Birthday Party. Our kids ate like horses and enjoyed themselves amidst the excitement.Lincoln has been quite the photographer lately! He likes to carry the camera around and snap pictures, and I've tried to make it easier on him by not giving him a zoom lens (one more thing for him to have to do with his hands) and by letting him choose whether or not he wants the flash. It's neat because when he's taking photos of Lydia or Henry, their behavior is just different compared with when I'm holding the camera. And, his vantage point is also different from mine, so he/we get some different shots. Here's a sampling...And when the kids are asleep, Jenn either takes a power walk or goes out to the swing set to relax.Lincoln starts preschool tomorrow!!!!!