Another Birthday Party, and Shaking the Sick Bug

Last Saturday we went to the birthday party of a son of friends from church. It was a low-key gathering and a fun time for the parents to chat and the kids to eat sugary things.On the kid front, there have been some funny things happen lately that I just need to write down here so I don't forget.

Several days ago, during a period of insanity when Jenn was considering whether or not we'll adopt again any time soon, she said to Lincoln, "What would you think if we went back to China in a couple of years and adopted a little girl?"

Lincoln thought for a moment, then said, "No. We'd need to get a bigger wagon."

On Tuesday evening we were out in the driveway while Henry was meanering around, Lincoln was riding his tricycle some and generally keeping busy and Lydia was sitting on her tricycle. All of a sudden, her tricycle got rolling and was heading toward the muddy mess that sits beside our driveway. Henry was in my arms at this point and I was too far away to stop her, but Lincoln was on that side of the driveway, and without thinking, he ran in front of her tricycle and grabbed the handle bars and stopped it from jumping over the little curb, which no doubt would have spilled Lydia into the mud and prompted a dramatic display of crying. Jenn and I couldn't believe it. A decisive, unselfish, gut reaction from our Lincoln. We're proud of him. And in the same cyber-breath, I'll share this photo...Today was "Share And Tell" at preschool, and you may or may not be surprised to know that Lincoln took his inflatable globe, and told the class some facts about the countries which have been featured in his Highlights mystery packs: Japan, Brazil and India. He pointed them out on the globe, and then shared a fact about each of these: he told the boys and girls that Japan is a country made up of many islands, Brazil is the largest country in South America, and India has Asian elephants that help people work with heavy objects. I asked him over lunch what some of the other kids shared, and he said, "One boy brought Spongebob!" And ours gave a geography lesson. Yes. We're very proud of Lincoln.

Henry's trying to talk, and he's getting a few new sounds out. Lydia is speaking in paragraphs and sharing conversations with us that she's retained from who knows when. She's hilarious to watch. She's got her alphabet down, and she's starting to fill in the blanks on some of our sing-along songs. Lately, we've been happy that Henry is reliably shaking his head "yes" and "no." He's started saying, "Yah!" to our questions... the problem is that he'll say, "Yah!" to, "Henry, do you want to get dressed now?" and, "Henry, you look tired, are you ready for bed?" and, "Henry, is the sky green?" It's kind of funny, and we'll take any verbal communication out of him. Just knowing that he's understanding that verbal interaction is a good thing and something that we expect of him is nice to see.

The runny nose bug has run through our house again, and I think it may finally be gone. Lincoln, as usual, is the one to bring it home. He's usually bothered by less than 24 hours. Lydia then gets it next and is an absolute train wreck. Jenn and I can usually count on no meaningful sleep during her first night of sickness. I was curious to see how Henry would respond, and he, too, had a tough time at night. At the front end of this week Jenn was thoroughly exhausted. I fared a bit better. Last night, with the exception of Henry getting fussy for a few minutes at 11:00pm, the kids slept all night, which was a first in the last 10 days.

We're looking foward to continuing our family tradition of fall time apple picking this Saturday. Then in the afternoon Jenn's parents and grandparents are arriving in town for us to go over to see Haley play at Bowling Green on Sunday. This will be a first for all of us to see our D-1 athlete daughter/sister/grand-daughter play at the collegiate level. Bowling Green is having a rough start to their season, but they weren't very good last year, and looking at the team stats, the freshmen are getting some playing time. Looks like a good year to rebuild, get some experience, and work toward some good stuff in seasons to come. In any event, it'll be nice to see Haley and spend some time as a Parkinson-side-of-the-family out there. Lydia and Henry will not be making the trip, but instead will be hanging out with Grandma Paulette and Grandpa Doug.

Jenn is doing a really good job planning a party to catch Lydia's and Henry's birthdays and to incoporate a costume party for our friends/family. The decor and favors are in the works. The kids all have costumes ready to go, and today Jenn and I ordered ours. Photos definitely to come after this fun event.

I haven't had much to say about the dogs lately. They've been really good with the kids, and relatively little trouble. I guess the dogs are like a good offensive line in football... if you're not hearing about them, they're probably doing their job.

Tonight Jenn's at Ladies Night with our ABF at church. She's taken on the role of planning the evenings, choosing the speakers and directing the content. Could you imagine anyone better for that job?

Labor Day Weekend... We're Comin' Along

It's been a fun last couple of days at the Gates Home.The latest play-fad is going "grocery shopping" in the pantry. The kids get all of the food off of the shelves (they can reach) and bring them out into the middle of the kitchen floor. Lincoln then brings out the blender and they "make a smoothie" by putting as many ingredients into the blender and "pouring" the rest of the ingredients through the opening in the lid.Henry was an absolute all-star at church yesterday. Jenn and I knew that we'd have to start leaving him in the kids class with Lydia when our ABF kicks off again, so we decided that September 2 would be our trial run. Henry walked in the door (having seen the toys first) and followed Lydia to the middle of the room. He looked back once, but the teachers were really calm and patient with him, so he was really cool about it. Jenn and I had our first whole church experience without crying interruptions or chasing kids around the atrium since early May. When I went to get Henry and Lydia, I received the report that Henry hadn't cried at all and played very well with the other kids.

Now here's the thing about that... This past Wednesday I took Henry and Lincoln for haircuts, and it was Henry's second since coming home. After being a really good, calm boy the first time around, he was an absolute train-wreck the second time. Something about actually knowing what to anticipate. So the real test will be next Sunday, but we've got a whole 'nother week to pray about that!Lincoln and I made some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies yesterday and put them in the oven today. Lydia even helped a little bit, but when over half of the chocolate chips that she was supposed to put in the mixer ended up on the floor, her time of helpfulness was over. Honestly, Lincoln was really good about this. The dough had gotten pretty firm in the refrigerator overnight, but he scooped over 40 cookies by himself, steadying the bowl and filling the scoop each time all by himself.I've alluded to the fact that the last couple of months have had their difficulties. (New to the blog and interested in filtering out all of the other stuff so you can just see our adoption journey? click here.) Henry has adjusted well, but when it has come to dealing with his emerging toddler issues, the stuggles of attatching to him, his lack of communication ability, the pairing of toddler issues that come along with Lydia, and the overall ordeal of having 3 young kids in the house, we've had some tough, even dark times. But things are looking up, and there are a number of reasons for this. First of all, at no time along the way has our relationship with the LORD or with each other been comprimised.

Secondly, our times with Dr. DeGeorge at Oak Adoptive Health have been helpful for re-enforcing some positives and making clear that there are neurochemical reasons for our stresses.

Thirdly, Jenn and I have intentionally taken some time to see how far things really have come over the last three months. The before-and-after photos are very helpful.

Fourthly, when we learn of some of the struggles that other adoptive families have had, we see that in many areas, we don't have those degrees of struggles. To be clear, even if someone has greater issues than we have, that doesn't mean that ours are not difficult or that they aren't significant within our home. But we are soooooo thankful that Henry sleeps through the night, that he naps reliably, that he doesn't have anger issues and that he doesn't have possession issues. And he's slowly making progress on the communication front. Seeing that there has been progress on this front is encouraging.

Also helpful are the times we revisit CCAI's website to look at the current group of Waiting Children. The need is so great, both in terms of numbers of kids and in individual terms. Looking at the stories of these boys and girls is sobering... and to think that at one point in time there was a page just like these for Henry, with a description of what little history he had as well as his physical limitations. When I read some of the stories of the boys and girls I think to myself, "Who is going to adopt these kids?" And my next thought is, how many people looked at Henry's page and said to themselves, "Who's going to adopt this little boy?" Well, we did, and he's growing up into a neat little boy! And that's just it, these kids need loving families, and they can thrive and overcome what life has dealt them if they are simply provided a loving family.

Are things now going to be all lollipops and roses going forward? Ha! Fat chance. The main reason I share the above is for prospective adoptive families to get a small glimpse into the world of a current adoptive family that wasn't all smooth sailing from the start. If you're thinking about adoption and you'd like to learn more details than I've even shared here, don't hesitate to contact us. You deserve to have as much information prior to your big day as possible.

And as Jenn and I were reflecting on these things today during lunch (after we told the kids to go entertain themselves!), we actually talked about adopting another. We're crazy. We know.

But in all seriousness, despite the difficulties, the feelings of guilt that have emerged from time to time along the way, and all of the chaos, we still believe we are acting within God's plan for our family, so who knows what will come.

Now moving on from Adoption stuff and back to Gates Family stuff. We were outside the other day, I was power washing the house and Jenn and the kids were washing the car, and Lydia decided to clean her guns. Our first thought was, "Grandpa Doug and Uncle Jeremy would be proud!"Bath time has been a hoot lately when, after getting all of the kids out of the tub and semi-dried off in their animal towels, they all run off toghether the room-of-their-choice-at-the-moment.This past Saturday was the 9th installment of the Lauren & Logan Birthday Party. Our kids ate like horses and enjoyed themselves amidst the excitement.Lincoln has been quite the photographer lately! He likes to carry the camera around and snap pictures, and I've tried to make it easier on him by not giving him a zoom lens (one more thing for him to have to do with his hands) and by letting him choose whether or not he wants the flash. It's neat because when he's taking photos of Lydia or Henry, their behavior is just different compared with when I'm holding the camera. And, his vantage point is also different from mine, so he/we get some different shots. Here's a sampling...And when the kids are asleep, Jenn either takes a power walk or goes out to the swing set to relax.Lincoln starts preschool tomorrow!!!!!

Date Night!

Last evening Jenn and I went on an early-Anniversary date, and it was our first night out since mid-May in Hong Kong. The report out of Grandma & Grandpa was that the kids did great, even for Henry's bedtime routine.We went to the Blue Point Grille for dinner, had a fantastic dinner of calamari, tuna (for Jenn) & grouper (for me), and a killer 'smores-style dessert. Then it was off to see Chris Tucker at the State Theater. To say that we were in the minority in the audience would be a tremendous understatement. Who says we're not doing our part for diversity? Most of the show was really, really funny, and overall it was a very pleasant evening out for us to be adults for awhile instead of glorified baby-sitters.It's hard to believe what all has happened over the past 9+ years. Over dinner we were recalling some of the shows and concerts we've been to, and we were half blown away to think that we saw Huey Lewis & the News 10 years ago. Holy cow! And to think three kids, one of them adopted, have popped up since our mid-vet school days is a bit crazy. I'm not sure our 2003 selves would believe seeing our 2012 selves.Earlier in the day on Saturday we went to a music class that good friends of ours have attended with their daughter for over a year. The teacher has a bachelors in music and a masters in child psychology, so he knows his stuff and how to reach these little kids. They bang on drums and all sorts of percussion instruments, they sing songs in 4/4 time and 3/3 time (I think that's how to say it... lousy musician here), and the room is set up so they can pretty much do whatever they want the whole time and not really ruin anything. Lincoln really got into it, Henry was pretty interactive, and it was Lydia that was the shy and reserved one. Kind of surprised me.

Also, at the end of the class, a mother approached me and commented about Henry's hand and drew my attention to her own hands. She'd had surgery to correct her amniotic banding and her fingers were of variable length & function. (One of the boys in our adoption group was born with the consequences of amniotic banding, so it was especially neat that this mother was so up front about it.) I hadn't noticed her situation at all during the class, and it's just evidence that folks with disabilities like that just figure out ways to do life and do it in such a way that doesn't draw an ounce of attention. Pretty cool.I want to take a moment and say something specifically to the adoptive parents reading this blog, the ones with whom we traveled around China. When we read your blogs and read between the lines and see that there are struggles with bringing your sons and daughters along, it... and I mean this with all sincerity, respect and in the purest form... it makes us feel better about our situation. To know that we're not the only ones with tough times makes the tough times so much easier to deal with, and in turn, makes things much easier for the kids, adopted & biological. If you're not an adoptive parent, this last paragraph didn't make much sense, and in fact you're probably wondering why I sound so crazy. But for you adoptive parents, you know what I'm talking about. Know that we're all going to make it!

Left on tap today is power washing the house. Jenn is going to set up the water table in the front yard, and because tonight is a bath night, we're going to get all sunscreened and sweaty this afternoon in a big family memory-building time. I can sense your envy as you read this.

Playset Installed!!!

Today was a full day. Henry and I did most of the grocery shopping for the Men's Retreat this weekend, then he, Lincoln and I went with Grandpa Doug down to Leesville Lake to turn on the A/C and take the load of groceries. And while we were gone, the playset got built! Yea!!!One of the workers found a nest of bunnies in the yard. Idiot bunny. Gretel found them in the early evening, so I moved them outside the fence line. The mom saw me, so hopefully she'll care for them... and protect them from the cats.We're continuing to have water heater problems. Because it's still under warrantee, I've been advised to try to work with GE to get it fixed because it'll either get fixed or they'll give me a new water heater. Hmmm. Maybe. I'm a little irritated that Blind & Sons didn't work to either find a solution or work with GE to find a solution. They came out to the house three times and neither a fix nor a suggestion, other than, "You really need a Rinnai with a family of five. Nevermind that three of my five can't take a shower on their own. I get that they want to sell me a new water heater, but even if they passed on the sale, at least they'd be reaping the labor costs. I'm pretty much done with them on this issue.

Jenn's out with her friends for Bible study, and I've got to review my notes for Friday evening. Adios.

Ledges, Summer, 2012

It's been a while since we've been on a hike. Who wants to walk outside when it's 90+ in temperature and near 90 in humidity? Yesterday wasn't as bad as it's been, weather-wise, so we packed up and went to the Ledges. Henry's not much for walking on unsure footing, and he was wearing new-to-him shoes, so he rode in the pack for most of the way. When he got out near the end, he overcame his anxiety and did pretty well. Lydia is turning into a good little hiker, mostly because she has no fear. Lincoln is a good hiker in another sense. He's not near-wreckless like Lydia, but rather he's becoming a confident boy on the trails, being careful on steps and over walks while also enjoying the things around us to see and hear.At home, the biggest issues have been obedience and crying. And it's funny how the lack of the former contributes to the latter. Lydia, especially, has been horrible at following simple commands, and when she's led to do the right thing, there is a show of what we call "fake crying." It's just as loud and annoying as the real thing, but it's for no good reason. The joys of toddler-hood. Heaven help us when she turns 3.

Jenn went to the Women of Faith conference over the weekend with some friends from church. While there were good parts of it that she appreciated, she said more of it was like a pep-rally, and Jenn's not into pep rallies, but instead into solid teaching from the Word. So the next time there's a solid, red meat teaching conference that comes around, look for Jenn there.

I've got the third annual Men's Retreat coming up this weekend, and because I've had help from some of my buddies in the planning process, I have this strange feeling that I'm missing something. Perhaps it's because we had it all planned out several weeks earlier than in the past. That's a nice feeling. Sadly, our ABF teacher can't be a part of it because of a death in the family. The show will go on, though, and we've got a good group of guys signed up. Once again, it's at the Leesville Lake cabin, and once again, we've got good food and teaching in the works, so it ought to be a good weekend.

But before the weekend comes, a new play set (purchased with the generous help of Grandma Laura & Grandpa Dave) will be installed in our backyard this Wednesday! Rest assured, photos will come...

Cedar Point

Today after work I had Lydia and Henry to myself. They napped a good bit, and after we went to pick up Jenn's watch, er, time piece, at Jared's, I thought I'd swing by Chik-Fil-A for dinner. I don't need a good reason to go to Chik-Fil-A as their food tastes awesome, but today was an unofficial "appreciation" day for all of the crap they've been taking from the people who have a problem with an owner of a private company expressing his personal views in response to a question from a television reporter. Well, it would have taken us at least an hour to even order. The drive-thru line at the Chapel Hill wound out into the road between the restaurants and the plaza shops while the line to get into the store was out the door and extended to the back of the parking lot. If these big city mayors and special interest kingpins with big megaphones want to stir the pot, they'd do well to know that there is a legion of folks out there who are just fine with either (a) Dan Cathy's position, or (b) a private citizen holding an opinion while also making darn good sandwiches in the process.

So I'll just have to register my anti-boycott wallet-vote on another day.

Dang. I nearly got on one of my soapboxes there! Back to family stuff.
I had L & H today because Jenn and Lincoln went to Cedar Point with the Parkinsons! I received a number of texts throughout the day from Jenn saying Lincoln was having a blast. He's not yet tall enough to ride the big coasters, but that didn't seem to be a problem in the least.The boy is tired.